My Daughter Is Not on Social Media And Here’s Why

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My Autumn daughter is not on social media because she’s not ready, or is it that we are not ready?


It’s definitely her. She is more concerned about her friends and what they say, do, and how they will respond to what she will say and do. I understand that adults have this same issue; however, some know when to ignore, block, delete, or log off the site until another day. We understand that during COVID-19, socializing has come to an all-time halt, at least for us it has. So it’s understandable that she will need to be on the computer and phone to keep in contact with her peers, but this does not have to include social media.

Recently while ear hustling (the act of minding your business around the house while minding your children’s business without them knowing), the friends were conversing about an associate being made fun of by a group of other girls.  Apparently, the girl, the same young age as my daughter, had her panties shown on the internet! Oh, hell to the Nah! My ear hustling turned into a conversation right then and there and while she was still on the phone!! They all knew that it was wrong for them to be entertaining a conversation like that. Children need guidance, and social media without permission will not give them that.

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Approved Apps for Children to Communicate With

  • Facebook Messenger Kids

For a time before COVID-19, I saw ads and requests for Facebook Messenger Kids.  I did not get the point of this app since the pre-pre-teen was always around her friends. She would see her friends at school, after school, and during social activities on the weekend.  By the time she was home away from her friends, there was no socialization deprivation from her day where she needed an application on a device she didn’t have.

Here we are in the fall of COVID-19, and she has a cellphone and laptop for just this purpose.  We felt she could have time to communicate with her friends in group text messages, which we periodically monitor. With Facebook Messenger Kids, she also talks to kids of my friends and her cousins of the same age group who she doesn’t see often. Again, we can monitor her conversations, and I even receive a report of who she talks to the most and offer guidance not to neglect someone – especially if they see you’re online and send you a message.

  • Roblox

Honestly, I will not sit here and pretend that I get this application, but it brings her and her best friend joy without being on social media.  She tried to get us to play one day, and it just wasn’t working for my older brain. Lol If I understand clearly, its basically an online application of free multiplayer games created by its users worldwide. Like Minecraft, this game teaches our kids about playing together, sharing ideas, and coding in a virtual environment.

If you decide to allow your child to play Roblox, make sure that you create their account and use their real birth date.  Using the correct birthday will exclude them from certain application features that are not meant for children under 13. For instance, she does not have a Youtube account, so she can not video herself and upload or talk to other game characters.

On the flip side of approved apps, there are applications that I know many of her friends have that she will not until she matures a bit more.

  • YouTube
  • Tik Tok
  • Instagram

Do you allow your access to social media? Which applications do they use?

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2 thoughts on “My Daughter Is Not on Social Media And Here’s Why

  1. My almost-9 year old is asking for a phone. We’ve said at the beginning of the school year he turns 11 he can have one of my old phones just to stay in touch. Before then, just no. He has Roblox on the tablet which he plays with 2 or 3 friends but does not use the message feature and he’s really sensible about rejecting requests from anyone he doesn’t know. He’s also aware that he can’t have any form of social media account until he’s 13. I think protecting our children from the stresses of social media until they’re older is just another good way of letting them be children for as long as possible.

    1. So very true. We can only do so much and not exposing them to social media is still under our control. Our daughter is going on 11 years old. We want her to be a child for as long as she is able to be.

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